


What makes the desert beautiful...

by softgrungeprophet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amnesia, Bittersweet Ending, Fluff, Human Lucifer, M/M, Memory Loss, No Sex, Strangers, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-03 23:51:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softgrungeprophet/pseuds/softgrungeprophet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>is that somewhere it hides a well...<br/>(Lucifer awakes on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere with no memory of who he is. A kind man named Elikai takes him in, and helps him figure out who he is.)<br/>Here's the <a href="http://8tracks.com/glass-jars/the-desert">playlist</a>.<br/>Also just as a PSA: if you imagine Elikai as anything but a 6'7" gray-eyed Idris Elba you're wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince_.

The very first thing he noticed was that there were many, many stars in the sky. Stars like freckles—or was it that freckles were meant to be like stars? Stars like water splattered on the sidewalk. (How did he know what that looked like, though?) Stars as trillions of tiny pinpricks dusting the violet-black velvet in silver and blue and glitter. They mesmerized him. Made him ache, and he hadn't a clue why.

"They almost make you believe in God, huh?"

He jumped, with a sharp intake of breath, whirling as he stumbled to his feet. Looked up at the man standing before him—tall and broad, yet somehow lean, dark-skinned and dark-eyed and far too handsome. Like if expensive cologne were a person. He hadn't heard the man approach, but a car sat with its headlights on several feet away, with the door open.

"What's your name?" The man held out his hand.

A string of words flitted through his mind. Names. The final one struck him as probably correct but entirely a bad idea to use. There was one before, though... "Luce," he said. "My name is Luce... or maybe Nicholas." He felt as though the first few names were brothers or loved ones he'd forgotten. He wished he hadn't forgotten. They seemed important. They made his chest tighten.

"Well, Luce, my name is Elikai." He took Luce's hand and shook it, with a smile. "What are you doing way out in the middle of nowhere?" His height, rather than seeming threatening, made Luce feel somehow safer.

Luce let his hand drop, with the warmth of another person lingering against his palm. "Elikai..." He glanced down at his shoes and the tattered edges of his jeans. "That's a good name." He looked back up at the sky. Realized Elikai had asked him a question. "I don't know where I am or... who I am."

"You don't know who you are?" Eli ran one broad hand across his buzz cut. "You gave me your name, though. That's a start." He focused his eyes on Luce—they were very deep and black in the moonlight.

Luce shook his head. "No," he raised his hands to stare at his palms, lined and rough and wide. "No, those were just... the most familiar names in my head. I know... five." He paused. "Sam... I feel like the name belongs to someone who is me, but not me... Michael and Gabriel are... brothers or something close. I think I left them alone a long time ago. Nick is like Sam but different. It makes my ribs feel warm. Lucifer is the last name and it makes my head hurt but it seems to fit along the insides of my veins." He folded his fingers in on themselves and felt the bones creak as they moved. The gravel under his soles made a rustling noise, as he scraped one foot slightly to the side.

Elikai frowned. "You're kind of strange, you know that?" But then he smiled, a little bit.

"I imagine I must be." Luce huffed the smallest of laughs and craned his head back again to stare at the sky. He wanted it to suck him into its depths and wrap him around in stardust, safe and sparkling. He breathed shallowly through his nose. The air smelled of something he didn't know the name for, but he liked it. "What you said, earlier..." He returned his gaze to Eli with a tilt of his head and heavy eyelids. "You don't believe in God?"

Elikai snorted. He shrugged, sticking his thumbs in his pockets and tapping his fingers against his thighs. "I don't _not_ believe in God. But I doubt he really cares much for us, if he's hanging around." He followed Luce's previous line of sight to stare up at the milky way. "The sky is beautiful, but there are also things like cancer and AIDS and starving children in countries with skyscrapers taller than the clouds." He sighed. "I just don't know. Do you believe?"

"I can't remember."

Elikai laughed, quietly, and it was a very gentle and soothing laugh. Low and smooth. "Well, what do you remember, then?"

"Nothing more than heartache."

"Wow." Eli grinned. His teeth flashed white in the darkness. His eyes crinkled at the edges. "You're a real piece of work."

Luce blinked slowly at him, with his forehead creased deeply. But his mouth turned up at the corners. "I don't really know how to act, so... forgive me if I am a tad strange." He pinched the collar of his shirt and slid his hands down the buttons. The green t-shirt underneath fit him perfectly. He assumed the clothes belonged to him. He found nothing in his pockets. "I don't seem to have any identifying information."

"Well," Elikai looked Luce up and down. "You're two hundred miles away from the nearest town, so... You want a ride?"

Luce tilted his head again, like a cat. "I'm going to assume that two hundred miles is too long for me to walk, and say, 'Yes. I would like a ride.'"

Elikai laughed and Luce honestly couldn't see what was so funny. But he followed the other man to his sleek blue car. The engine's sound startled him, and he had to have help to fasten his seatbelt, but they were driving fairly soon, down the long black stretch of asphalt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "To forget a friend is sad." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince_.

Luce dreamed that he had thousands of wings and thousands of eyes and the power to destroy or create almost anything he wanted. He dreamed he was made of outer space and ice. And all of his wings and eyes burned away but for two pairs of each, and he wore a halo that looked like a snowflake. And he sat in a cage in the darkness surrounded by a few other glowing souls but he mostly ignored them and when they drifted closer he batted them away. He focused on the one other large orb—clashed and bounced away from it. Sent sparks flying. Eventually the smaller ones had gone—one left a long time before and the other finally flickered out. The one that remained merely sat far in the corner, throbbing bright and white.

Luce woke up.

Neon lights illuminated the interior of the car vibrant red. He looked out the window—a tall sign with the words _Motel_ and _Vacancy_ buzzed down at him. He felt small. He also felt extremely uncomfortable, with a sore neck and a line against his collar where the seatbelt had dug against his skin as he slept. He managed to undo the seatbelt, and cast around for Elikai. Nowhere.

A knock on Luce's window. Ah, there. Elikai tugged the door open and leaned down. "Unless you want to sleep in the car, I suggest you follow me." He smiled. "I promise I'm not going to kidnap you, or anything bad like that."

"I trust you." Luce pulled himself out of the Honda and shut the door behind him. He trailed after Elikai.

Elikai shook his head. "You shouldn't trust strangers so easily."

"You're not a stranger. I know your name."

Elikai only laughed.

Their room in the motel was tiny. For some reason Luce expected something different. Something more spacious with a screen and a table and maybe even a little refrigerator. (Where had that preconception come from? He'd never seen a hotel before.) But this was a Motel 6 and the two beds took up most of the room, and the television on its desk took up the rest of the room, and the sink wasn't even inside of the bathroom with the toilet and shower. It was just nearby, in the main room, as a little countertop with strange circular holes for shelves.

The sheets were coarse, and the pillows very white. Luce sat on the bed, and fiddled with everything around him. Slid the phone aside after briefly removing the receiver and then almost immediately returning it to its off-white cradle. Opened the drawer in the single side table. He pulled a battered little Bible out and held it in his hands. Its thin pages whispered under his touch and fell easily from his fingers. The black cover creaked. Plastic-y and cheap. In some places, the type had smeared. One page was ripped. He gazed down at it.

"Don't tell me you can't read."

Luce sucked in a breath, startled. "No, no." He didn't look up at Elikai. "I can read just fine..." He swiped his fingertips over the pages of the Bible. They came away somewhat blackened.

Elikai shook his head. "Good." Not bothering to actually change his clothing—he merely stripped down to a wifebeater and his boxers—Elikai settled in his bed. "Turn off the light and go to sleep. It's one in the morning." He rolled onto his side so he faced away and pulled his blanket up over his shoulders. His toes peeked just a little over the end of the bed, in brightly striped socks. Luce found that interesting. Black suit, gray shirt, black tie, black shoes, but under it all he wore neon purple.

Luce set the Bible aside. He lay down on the rather too-flat bed and fiddled with the lamp until he figured out how to turn it off. The room plunged into darkness but for the occasional sweep of light across the ceiling when cars rushed past on the nearby road. Luce stared at those yellowy squares on the plaster.

He found it difficult to actually drift off now that he wanted to. After having slept in the car, he felt strangely hyperactive.  Exhausted, still, but energized. It thrummed through his throat like a laugh wanting to tear out into the air. But he kept it bottled below his diaphragm.

Continued to stare.

 

At some point his eyes must have slid closed because he woke to bright sunlight streaming through the suddenly bare window. Elikai stood beside the window—in a neat gray suit—with the drawstring from the venetians in one hand. He grinned.

"Good morning."

Luce frowned, raising one hand to block the light from his face. "Is it good, really?" He pressed his fingertips against his gritty eyes. "It seems merely sunny." He groaned as he sat, and planted his elbows on his knees. Pressed his face into his palms. His lower back ached and his neck was sore as well. And he felt very stiff. Like a scarecrow.

"Wow. Who pissed in _your_ Cheerios?" Elikai stretched. His spine, or something in his arms, cracked, and he grinned. "It's nice out, the shower works... I got you a bagel, too, when you wouldn't wake up for the continental breakfast." He nodded toward the cabinet on which the TV sat. A bagel sat all wrapped up in a napkin, with a small plastic packet of  cream cheese and a little white knife on top of it. "Get washed up, eat, and I'll take you where you need to go."

Luce peered at him from between his fingers. "Fine." He stood. And almost fell over as the room swam around him. He reached out for the side table, frowning deeply. He couldn't see for just a split-second and though it was brief, he would be lying if he said he didn't find himself momentarily terrified. But then his vision cleared, and though the static-y feeling in his skull remained a few seconds longer, he could stand properly.

Elikai watched him carefully while he walked to the bathroom. Even once made a move to help him, but Luce waved him off with a grumble. He locked himself into the bathroom—the locking mechanism shocked him with its simplicity. The room shone very white yet somehow unclean, and the shower was semi-circular. He felt like both exposed and hidden in his little test-tube. The water surrounded him and the steam shut him in and he quickly overheated. He played with the knob a little bit.

The water immediately grew far too hot and he yanked the handle around with a yelp. It cooled, until it made him shiver. His head throbbed. He managed to maneuver the foul thing to a spot in-between that sent the water cascading lukewarm down his back in waves. He breathed in the steam and stared at the ceiling while he showered. Slowly turned around. He liked the way the water made his skin feel smooth. Like glass.

He stood in there for what felt like both an infinity and a very small amount of time. That was, until the water began to spurt colder every few seconds and Elikai pounded on the door.

"Are you okay, Luce? You've been in there for an hour!"

Luce frowned. He didn't want to leave the shower. But he turned it off and stepped out into the cold air. Goosebumps raised up his arms and his legs and a shudder fled up his spine. A strange sensation, but he found it enjoyable. Kind of. He yanked the towel from its bar and stared at it for a few seconds. He stuck his face against its coarseness first, and rubbed it across his head, before dragging it awkwardly over the rest of his body. His clothes stuck to his skin as he pulled them on. Small spots dampened where they touched him. He hadn't managed to dry completely.

He sighed. When he opened the door, Elikai laughed at him from beside the television.

"You look like N*SYNC."

Luce's forehead creased as he frowned, confused. "I beg your pardon?"

Elikai laughed. "Just—your hair is sticking up in twelve different directions." He beckoned for Luce to come closer. "Let me fix it." Luce tilted his head, but complied, and stood still while Elikai fussed with his hair for several seconds. Elikai pulled away, then, setting his hands on Luce's shoulders. He beamed. "Much better."

Luce let himself smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince_.

Luce enjoyed the feeling of the breeze against his face. It hit him a little cold but refreshed him. He liked shivering when the wind went down the back of his shirt and he liked how it ruffled his hair and made him squint. Eventually, though, he rolled the window back up. He patted his face.

"You know," Elikai glanced over at him, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on his knee. "You remind me of a kitten." He smiled and returned his eyes to the road stretching out before them. Fifty miles to the nearest city, after driving for about forty minutes.

"What?" Luce tilted his head.

Elikai jerked his thumb at him. "That right there—that head tilt. It's like someone grabbed a puppy, a cat and a parakeet and shoved them into the body of some middle-aged dork." He chuckled to himself as he drove, and reached to slide back the cover of the moonroof. Sunlight dropped into the car.

With a half-smile, Luce shook his head. "I don't see entirely what you mean, but alright." He held his hand in the sunlight, tilting it around. The silver ring on his left hand flashed. He frowned and brought his hand to eyelevel. "Why is there a ring on my finger?" The ring glinted. He hadn't noticed it before. He'd been too caught up in just figuring out the world around him.

"Hey," Elikai frowned. "Don’t ask me."

Luce sighed. He returned to staring out the window at the scrub brush and occasional cow. He rubbed his temple. His head throbbed a little, and his stomach gurgled. A bagel, apparently, had not been a satisfactory breakfast. "I think," he muttered. "I'm hungry."

Elikai raised one eyebrow. "Well, okay." He glanced at the road signs, smirking. "But you're going to have to wait a little bit." He glanced down at his watch as well as the speedometer, and then continued to watch the road twist away before them. "There's a McDonald's in about ten or twenty minutes."

Luce nodded.

 

Sure enough, nearly a half hour later, Elikai pulled to a stop in the parking lot of a grungy McDonald's. "Lu," He stared Luce down. "I'm going to order, and you're going to go to the bathroom because I haven't really been paying attention but I'm ninety percent sure that the last time you peed was four hours ago."

"Six hours." Luce stumbled out of the Accord gracelessly, and briefly leaned on his door while he regained balance and vision. "I went a few hours before you woke me this morning and I haven't since then."

Elikai snorted as he shut his door. "Go pee, and I'll order you something non-offensive."

Luce did as he was told.

Elikai sat at a sticky, multi-colored table with a tray in front of him when Luce finished. Luce sat down across from Eli and eyed the chicken sandwich in its grease-damp wrapper, and the paper cup of water just a few inches away. A pack of French fries wilted in the center of the table between them.

Sitting in his chair, Luce found himself simultaneously eating and running a hand along his ribcage, through his shirt. Back and forth over and over again. His ribs were warm, and so he trailed his fingers along them slow and distracted while he chewed his food. He enjoyed the sandwich. Burger. Whatever it was. Especially the barbecue sauce. Its tang hung in the back of his mouth and lingered on the insides of his lips. The fries, however, made him grimace. Far too salty. He let Elikai eat them all.

Eli actually put the fries in his burger, on top of the lettuce, smooshed under the top bun. He seemed to enjoy it. Or at the very least, seemed not to despise it. Luce watched him eat, having devoured half of his sandwich already. He sipped his water and stared. Elikai raised his eyebrows but ignored his attentions.

As they got into the car, Luce clutching his leftovers to himself in their crinkly bag, he asked of Elikai, "Where exactly are we going?" He paused. "What are you going to do with me?"

"That's a fantastic question, Luce." Reassurance lingered in Eli's tone. Something about the way he emphasized Luce's name send a ripple of ease through his limbs. Elikai continued with a soft voice while he drove. "We're probably going to take you to a hospital. Hopefully they can help find out who you are." He flicked his eyes briefly toward Luce, to observe the way he sat with his back pressed flat against the contours of his seat and his head leaning against the headrest and his knees up, hands and takeout between his thighs and midriff. Infantile and vulnerable.

Luce leaned his head forward until his forehead touched his knees. "Alright." His eyes closed, and their rapid movement made his eyelids twitch. He breathed slowly, but unevenly, like he didn't entirely know how. Maybe he didn't. But he fiddled with the ring on his finger and said nothing.

Elikai pulled into the parking lot of a gas station—luckily they hadn't got back onto the freeway yet. "Lu," Again with the calm drop of his name. "What's wrong? I don't know you well, but you seem..." He gestured, lamely, and was sure to turn his body toward Luce. Kept his posture open and his expression relaxed and a little concerned. "You seem worried."

Luce shrugged. The motion slid over his body in a wave—not quite normal. "I don't know." He raised his hands up from where they curled against his chest, sliding them over his face and back through his hair. "Is that what it is? Worry?" He snorted. "I have... trouble... identifying emotions by their names. Anything more complicated than anger and triumph have escaped me, thus far." He shook his head and kept his hands resting on his own shoulders, cross-crossed at the wrists.

Noting his tension, Elikai was careful to move slowly as he reached out, but he _did_ reach out. Loosely curled his fingers around Luce's upper arm. He felt Luce trembling, and felt the slight chill radiating from him. "What are you worried about?" He moved his thumb against the skin of Luce's arm.

Finally, Luce's eyes fluttered open and he shifted his head against his knees to look at Elikai. His eyes remained half-lidded, and his pupils were large and dark. He kept his hands up against his shoulders. He muttered, "I don't know." He frowned.

"Take a moment to think." Elikai kept up the slow, soothing motion of his thumb on Luce's arm.

Watching a short-haired woman carry her child across the gas station parking lot, Luce turned his head away. His breaths grew slow. He focused on the in-and-out transfer of air through his body. "I'm..." He shook his head. "Afraid." He let his forehead push against his knees once more, and closed his eyes tightly. "I don't know what I'm afraid of but I have this awful sensation behind my ribs, like I'm going to crack apart and fly to pieces."

"I see." Elikai drew his hand away and put his car back into drive and returned to the road. Neither of them spoke a word for several miles, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Though, eventually, while the sped along down a barren highway, Eli did speak up again. "I know I'm a stranger, but you don't need to be afraid."

Luce watched him from the corner of his eye. "Is that right?" He wrapped his arms around himself more closely ,though now his feet were planted firmly on the floor of the car. The engine's rumble shivered through his legs. "I'll have to keep that in mind." He half-smiled.

"I mean it." Elikai raised his eyebrows. "I won't abandon you on the side of the road or leave you to rot in the hospital, or anything like that." He stuck one hand out to rest it on Luce's shoulder again.

Luce nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince._

When Luce closed his hand around the edge of the door it shocked him. He pulled in a sharp breath through his nose, tugging his hand away. Used the bottom of his foot to shut the passenger door, tentatively, wary of being hit with a second snap of electricity. Elikai watched him with an amused expression on his face. Embarrassed, Luce pursed his lips. He looked away, up at the sky. It bulged with wet clouds, purple-gray. Yet yellow sunlight peeped through holes here and there. The entire setup lent a strange, warm glow to the buildings and trees around them, and made the colors seem more saturated than usual.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and followed Elikai down the sidewalk.

"I've decided I would rather not find out who I am." His feet dragged on the concrete.

Elikai looked at him over his shoulder with a small, sympathetic smile. He slowed and gestured Luce closer to him. "Are you afraid I'll leave you in the hospital?" He straightened his suit jacket with one raised eyebrow, reaching out to grasp Luce's arm in his hand, pulling them level as they walked together.

Luce gave one of those liquid shrugs of his. "Perhaps." He watched their feet tap against the concrete. "For some reason I have a bad taste in my mouth, when I think of going to a hospital. Like I should be avoiding it at all costs." He slid his eyes back up to stare at the clouds. He almost tripped over a crack in the sidewalk, but Elikai tugged at him with a bruising grip and kept him upright.

He nodded toward a nearby building. It was squat and made of large gray blocks. A sign on the front read "Free Clinic." So, maybe not as intimidating as a real hospital. Luce took a deep breath and let himself be maneuvered inside.

The first thing he noticed had to have been the smell. He didn't know what it was but it made his nose crinkle with its abrasive stench. Another thing was the simultaneous over-crowded feeling and emptiness. Like the building had been abandoned to a skeleton crew, but teemed with people nonetheless. The blinding white barren walls terrified him. So did the strangers bustling all around him. He clung to Elikai's side, fingers clenched into tight fists.

Carefully, Elikai led him to the front desk.

Luce reached out to fasten his fingers on the edge of his suit jacket. As if, by physically attaching himself to his benefactor, he could prevent himself from drifting off into the depths of the little clinic. He caught less than half of the words Elikai exchanged with the secretary, so absorbed was he in not floating away, so that when Eli gently steered him toward an empty chair in the center of the waiting area he was taken by surprise. He flinched. But let himself be set down in the stiff, ugly piece of furniture. Elikai sat directly beside him.

He laid a reassuring hand along Luce's arm. Luce turned his head to stare at him, forehead wrinkled with worry or apprehension or some strange emotion he couldn't place. Elikai squeezed his arm.

"You'll be fine." He lifted his hand to the curve of Luce's shoulder.

Luce licked his lips nervously, glancing down at Elikai's elegant, dark fingers against the worn fabric of his grayish shirt. He closed his eyes and lifted his own hand to cover Elikai's. The warmth in the other man's skin soothed him—a balm for the aching cold ever-present in his fingertips. He focused on breathing even and slow at Elikai's insistence. In and out in a steady hiss through his nose.

He could feel Elikai's approval in the firmness of the palm upon his shoulder.

 

After a long, boring, rather nerve-wracking wait, a woman opened the wooden door near the front desk and called out, "Luce Nichols?" She held a clipboard.

Luce pushed himself out of the chair, and realized his hands were trembling just the slightest. He frowned down at them. Elikai trailed just behind him as he made his way over to the woman, and he patted his back and stopped a few feet from the door. Luce turned to face him.

"Aren't you coming?"

Elikai shook his head. "I'm not your parent, Lu. And you're not my child."

Luce's jaw tightened, and his eyes widened just barely, as he stared at Eli. "You said you wouldn't leave me here." His expression held accusation and uncertainty and perhaps betrayal. Elikai rolled his eyes with a soft smile.

"I'm not leaving you here." He clasped Luce's shoulder. "But I don't think I can go back there with you."

After a few seconds of distraught silence, the nurse spoke up. "Sir, is there something... wrong?"

It was unclear to whom she addressed her question.

Luce's begging eyes did not waver. Elikai sighed and shot her an apologetic glance. "He has no idea who he is and I think he's afraid of being alone." He shrugged, running a hand over his head.

The woman watched the both of them for several seconds before rolling her eyes and gesturing them both through the door. Elikai kept a hand at Luce's back and he felt a bit like a handler trying to keep a spooked horse from bolting. His palm against the fabric of Luce's shirt _did_ seem to have a calming effect though.

The nurse weighed him, and measured how tall he was. Normal stuff. When she took his blood pressure she frowned a little, though. Cast a discerning eye over him. "Do you get dizzy when you stand?"

"Yes." Luce toed back into his shoes. He wouldn't meet her eyes.

Elikai clarified. "He almost fell over this morning when he woke up."

She nodded. "Not surprising. Mr. Nichols, you have very low blood pressure. Not unhealthy, but I would keep an eye on it."

She then had him stand with his toes against a line of tape, and told him to read out the string of letters from an eye chart. He did fairly well, until about the third line down when his eyebrows pulled together, and he began to squint and lean forward. He kept his hand firmly clamped over his eye but frowned deeply. The same happened to a lesser extent with his other eye.

Bad eyes, then. Of course. Elikai let out a soft sigh.

 

Finally, they sat alone in a little office with an examination table, waiting for the doctor.

Posters on the wall declared various bits of advice and warnings, and information on certain vaccinations and diseases. Luce sat on the examination table where the nurse had place him, with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around his shins, staring at the little jar of cotton balls. He picked absentmindedly at the hem of his jeans—a little thread hung loose just above his shoe.

Elikai watched him for signs of anything negative, but despite being nervous Luce seemed fine.

The door swung open and a tiny woman with short black hair walked in, reading from a clipboard. She glanced up. "Luce?" Luce looked at her, and she grinned. "I'm Doctor Xu." She held out her hand for Luce to take.

Luce eyed her hand before shaking it. She shut the door behind her and settled in her desk chair. Set the clipboard and its papers on the table. She whirled around in her chair, settling her gaze on Luce, and clasped her fingers in her lap, crossing her legs. Her slacks rode up a little to show a peek of candy-cane striped socks.

"So, Luce." She tilted her head. "You don't remember anything other than your name?"

Luce shifted with one of his feline shrugs. "Actually, not even that." He ducked his head—and if Elikai didn't know better he would have thought Luce was being bashful but he had a sneaking suspicion he was just feeling overwhelmed. "I'm not really sure that Luce _is_ my name. But it feels almost right." He shrugged again.

Doctor Xu scribbled something down on one of the pieces of paper. "Could you elaborate?"

Clearing his throat, Elikai said, "If I may interrupt..." He waited for her cheerful nod before continuing. "I found him on the side of the road about 200 miles away from here, in the middle of nowhere. He said all he remembered was a list of five names, and he chose Luce Nichols from that." He paused. "Luce is short for... Lucifer."

Luce nodded. "It is." He let his knees straighten a little, sliding his feet along the crinkly paper on the examination table. "I feel as though my name is actually Lucifer, but there's this feeling in the back of my head that says I shouldn't call myself that."

"And why is that?" Doctor Xu wore a mixture of amusement and curiosity.

Luce shook his head. "I don’t know. What does it mean?"

Elikai and Xu stared at him, both searching for the right words. Doctor Xu hummed. "Well," She leaned back in her chair. "It's understandable that you wouldn't want to use that name. It belonged to a rather cruel angel, who reportedly fell from Heaven for doing a lot of bad shit. Tempted Eve, killed a bunch of people. A real snake in the grass type of person. Kinda like Hitler." She paused with a frown. "You probably don't know who that is, either. I don't know why I said that."

"A... fallen angel?" Luce half-smiled, and fully straightened out his legs. "I see. I suppose that makes sense, then."

Elikai laughed under his breath.

Doctor Xu's face sobered somewhat, as she tapped her pen against her mouth. "You know, you really ought to be at a real hospital. Talking to a psychiatrist or something. I'm not really a brain doctor." She glanced over her papers. "Also, you should probably see an optometrist."

"What's an optometrist?"

She laughed. "An eye doctor. So you can see better." She eyed him, re-crossing her legs. "You _do_ want to see better, right?"

Luce gave her an enthusiastic nod. "The dizziness and the blurriness give me a headache."

"Well. Glasses might help with that. I had a boyfriend once who wore glasses to help with vertigo." She laughed.

Elikai tapped his foot thoughtfully, reaching up to stroke his jaw. "Is there any way we could find out his identity through medical records, or something?" He looked over to the doctor.

She nodded. "Possibly." She pulled her clipboard into her lap, writing something on it. "I'm assuming you didn't find any identification on him. As for the amnesia," She paused for a long time. "Well, this is one of the most extreme cases of amnesia I have ever heard of, to be honest. I don't think there's ever been more than one person to have lost his memories so entirely, and that was from a head injury. So you might want to make sure your brain isn't damaged."

Luce nodded—almost mimicking her. He slid off of the table, but she clicked her tongue and urged him back onto the table.

"We haven't done the examination."

He cocked his head, confused. "I thought... that was already done. With the scale, and the blood pressure...?"

"No, that's just preliminary stuff." She laid him back on the table. "Raise your hands over your head."

She proceeded to go about checking his heartbeat, eyes, ears, reflexes... Little things. He shivered at the touch of the stethoscope on his skin. Hunched his shoulders when she had him bend forward and pressed the little disc against his spine. He thought it strange that she asked him to breathe deeply.

 

Just before they left, Doctor Xu frowned. "Are you married?"

Luce's forehead wrinkled. "I don't know what you mean."

"There's a ring on your finger. Usually, that would mean you have a wife." She gestured to his left hand.

He held his hand up to the light and watched the ring catch at it. "I don't know." He pulled at it, and it was rather tight, but it slid off after a few seconds of wiggling. He held it in his palm. It was just a plain silver band with no distinguishing marks. No engravings, no stones, no nothing. Doctor Xu shook her head and escorted them out to the waiting room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It is such a mysterious place, the land of tears." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince_.

The next motel they stayed at had a slightly more expensive Bible. Its cover was stiff and black, and Luce settled back into his pillows with it propped against his thighs, curled up and lit by the yellow-y lamp above the side table.

A lot of the language proved rather incomprehensible to him, and on more than one occasion he found himself reading out loud to himself and voicing murmured questions, which Elikai strove to answer as best he could. The room generally devolved into the gentle sound of turning pages and quiet breaths. Luce's still came out stilted and overly-controlled.

As the clock ticked, Luce let out a hiss, and Elikai glanced over at him. "You okay, Luce?"

Luce stared down at his finger as if it had personally insulted him. His throat bobbed when he swallowed and he frowned like a slighted child. "No." His voice came out thin and confused. He continued to gaze, unmoving, at his finger. He finally rose his eyes to meet Elikai's, and they were shiny. With tears.

Elikai couldn't help but smile at how pathetic he looked.

"You've never had a paper cut?"

Luce glared at him. "I don't _know_. Remember?"

Grinning, Elikai slid out of bed to join Luce. He took his hand and turned it in the light, making a clucking noise with his tongue. "That's a pretty bad one." The cut was small but deep for a paper cut. A little bead of blood formed along it. "Come on." He tugged Luce away from the bed and into the bathroom, briefly stopping to rummage in his suitcase for a band aid.

He turned the faucet on and pushed Luce's finger under the stream of water. Luce flinched but kept his hand in place despite the sting. He didn't even make a sound when Eli took out a little packet of Neosporin and spread it over the cut before wrapping it around with a small band-aid.

Elikai smiled and dropped his hand. "That better be good enough for you, because I'm not kissing you better." He winked, edging around Luce and out of the bathroom. Luce held his hand up so he could look at his bandage. He didn't know if some sort of placebo effect was in place, but after the initial sting his finger felt much better. It throbbed a little but it didn't hurt. He wiped his wrist over his still-slightly-damp eyes and went back out into the main room.

He gave the Bible a wary glance before closing it, and stuck it in its drawer as he settled down into his bed. It sat just under the window, and a chilly breeze snuck in through the blinds. He shivered, worming his way under the covers. He curled up, with his face and the top of his head almost the only thing visible from under his blanket, and stared at Elikai.

After five minutes of this, Elikai looked up from his laptop and cleared his throat.

"Do you need something, Luce?"

Luce let out a soft hum. He liked how often and how firmly Elikai used his name.

"I just like the expression you make when you're concentrating." He blinked slowly, shifting a little where he lay. "It's very calming."

Elikai leveled him with a thoughtful look. "You're a little odd." But he smiled and returned to whatever he had been doing on his computer. And Luce continued to watch him. He barely moved but for the occasional shift to be more comfortable.

Eventually, with his eyes half-lidded and voice low, Luce asked, "What are you looking at on that thing?"

Elikai smiled and shot him a quick glance. "I'm doing some research." He beckoned Luce over with his hand, and when Luce slunk his way from one bed to the other, he pointed to the screen of his laptop. "The most extreme recorded case of retrograde amnesia is Scott Bolzan. About as extreme as your case seems to be." He paused, with a soft sigh. "But he had severe lack of blood flow in part of his brain, so..."

Luce tilted his head. "I don't want to go to a hospital."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

The sheets rustled, and Luce settled closer to Elikai, leaning against him. Elikai didn't have the heart to push him away, so instead he made room and wrapped his free arm around Luce's waist. He continued to scroll through Google and Wikipedia until they yielded no more pertinent results and he grew bored. Checked his e-mail—nothing much new, just a reminder that the press conference he was headed to had been moved to a different area of the Washington State Convention Center. He shut his laptop down and set it on the side table, jostling a half-asleep Luce who made a gently confused sound.

He eyed Luce thoughtfully, and rather than try to move him to his own bed, laid him down where he sat. He got up to make sure the hotel room's door was shut tight and locked properly, closed the window, changed into his pajamas, went about getting ready to sleep, and eventually took the bed Luce had abandoned. He turned out the light.

 

The television mumbled about the news of Bend, Oregon while Elikai knotted his tie. (It was a pale pink color, almost white, and Luce found it fascinating.) He hummed a Christmas carol he'd heard earlier under his breath, looking out the window at the city. At seven in the morning, the streets weren't packed but neither were they empty. He turned away.

"Lu, you ready to go?" He shrugged into his jacket.

Luce looked up, fumbling with the buttons on his gray-green over shirt.

Elikai frowned. "On second thought, we can leave later. You look like a hobo." He slipped right back out of his jacket and tossed it on the bed before rolling his sleeves up. Fastened his fingers around Luce's arm and pulled him toward the bathroom.

That was how Luce found himself sitting on the bathroom countertop, with Elikai standing between his legs and wielding a disposable razor. He closed his eyes and kept his face as still as possible while the blades scraped across his cheek. He couldn't figure out if the sensation of being shaved made him cringe or felt soothing. He decided the shaving itself unnerved him but the warm press of Elikai's hand under his chin and against his jaw was pleasant and grounding.

Rather quicker than he expected but after longer than he'd like, Elikai had him wash his face with a washcloth. He got water all over the counter and down his neck and even in his ear. Elikai laughed, leading him back out into the room.

"Come on, dork." He unrolled his sleeves and pulled on his jacket and coat. "Put on your shoes. We're gonna go to Target before we hit the road."

Luce did as he was told and trailed after him, all eagerness and curiosity.

He had no idea what Target was but it sounded interesting.

 

"Is this alright?" Luce didn't know what to do, so he stood with his arms slightly spread, in the final shirt they had chosen. When Elikai nodded, he sagged with relief and returned to the dressing room to put on his previous clothes. They piled sweaters and shirts and jeans and other essentials into the car and bought them, and Elikai made Luce change in a Starbucks' bathroom. Which proved to be an extremely odd experience. But Luce found that once in a set of clean clothes, he felt a lot better.

His brown sweater rubbed soft on his arms, as he emerged from the bathroom with his other clothes shoved into a plastic bag. Even the socks felt twice as luxurious on his ankles despite only being socks. The underwear, too. He stood, awkward and self-conscious, by a display of mugs while Elikai ordered for them.

Eli approached with two red paper cups and pressed one into Luce's hands. He smiled. "You look much better, now."

Luce focused on the drink between his fingers, looking away. "Thank you." He frowned down at the narrow black straws jutting from the lid of his cup. "These are much thinner than the ones from the other day."

Elikai laughed, and put a hand against Luce's back to steer him out of the coffee shop.

"A normal straw won't fit in that kind of lid. It's cocoa, by the way." He ducked into his Honda with a grin.

Carefully, Luce slid into the passenger seat. He followed Elikai's example and set his cup in the cup holder before he dragged his seatbelt tight across himself. Almost immediately, he took his drink up once more. The heat against his palms sent waves of calm through him. However, when he tried to take a sip he burned his tongue. He didn't mind, particularly. He blinked at the sting, and waited for the cocoa to cool.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince_.

Luce did not like Seattle. It was altogether too crowded while simultaneously being very lonely. He reached out, as they walked down the steep sidewalk, and wrapped his arm around Elikai's. The taller man shot him a brief, amused look, but only shook his head with a smile. They'd left their things in the hotel room and now Elikai wanted to show Luce the Market. (He also wanted to see the Market for himself, as well, having heard a lot about it from a friend.)

They ended up huddled together more often than not. Wandered through the alleys and hallways, peeking in at various merchants and shops. They found a French bakery and stopped in its warmth for a while, holed up in a little corner eating pastry and drinking hot chocolate. Luce blinked slow and sleepy. His knees bumped against Elikai's under the tiny table.

Eventually, after getting rather lost, they found their way back to the hotel.

Luce pulled on plaid pajamas for the first time. He smiled to himself. His flannel combined with the extreme softness of the hotel bed made him hum a soft noise in the back of his throat as he burrowed into the blankets.

Elikai laughed at him and turned on the TV.

A movie called _Once_ was on.

Luce drifted to sleep—after Elikai made him brush his teeth—to the soft sound of Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová's voices from the speakers. It sent him off into a very soft set of dreams. Once, at one in the morning, he woke up to the sound of Elikai typing at his laptop, and he asked very quietly, "Why do people feel the need to touch their mouths together?" He might have been more coherent had he not been half-conscious.

Elikai raised an eyebrow, smiling. "Go back to sleep." He shut his computer and the room plunged into darkness.

Luce nodded.

"Alright."

 

In the morning, with light streaming through the sheer curtains at noon, Luce blinked awake. Something was on his forehead. He frowned and snatched at the little sticky piece of paper. On it, in strong black ink, Elikai had written, "I will be back at 3. Don't leave the hotel room—I don't want you to get lost." Luce stuck the note to the telephone and rolled out of bed.

With no one to entertain him, he figured he would take a shower.  He spent at least ten minutes just standing in the water, before he finally washed his hair with the tiny little bottles of complimentary shampoo. He continued to let the water run hot over him for a long time. Until he got a little dizzy from the heat and finally turned the shower off and stepped out to dry off. He eyed his clothes, and decided he'd stick with underwear and nothing else. The hotel room was warm enough after all.

So he sat half-naked on the bed, wrapping himself around and around in the blankets, and figured out how to turn the television on. The same movie as last night was partially done, and he watched what he'd missed while sleeping.

It was a pretty movie.

He continued to watch movies, like that. His stomach grumbled and he ignored it.

Finally, the door swung open. Elikai walked into the room with food in hand and a grin. He set the paper bags on the table by the TV, pulling off his coat and gloves and jacket and reveling in the warmth of the hotel room. Luce watched him from the bed.

"Hey, Lu, I got you a grilled cheese sandwich." Elikai tossed one bag at Luce, who caught it with his face. "And juice." He snatched his own bag and threw himself down in the other bed.

Luce peered at his food, fishing a bottle of apple juice from within, and rather than respond to Elikai, asked him, "What is it like to be kissed?"

Elikai looked at him. "What?" He sat straighter on the bed, with half a sub in one hand.

"What's it like?" Luce twisted the top off of his juice. "It happens a lot in the movies," He nodded toward the television. "And I imagine it must be nice if people do it so often." He sipped from his bottle and grimaced at the sweetness, but drank more anyway because he kind of liked the color.

With a thoughtful hum, Elikai leaned back into his pillows, taking a bite from his sandwich. He stared at the wall for a moment before saying, "It's hard to describe."

"That's okay. You can take your time."

Elikai laughed. "I don't know if I can explain it _at all_."

Luce's shoulders drooped, and he fiddled with his bottle cap. "Oh." He glanced over to the window.

"Come here, Lu." Elikai set his food aside and patted the sheets.

He smiled, so Luce climbed out of his blankets. He was confused when Elikai burst out laughing, but remembered almost immediately that he wasn't wearing anything more than a pair of boxer briefs. He felt his face heat up. Ducked down to where his clothes sat in a pile and tugged his pants and a shirt on. He didn't meet Elikai's eyes, until the other man snapped his fingers to grab his attention. Luce looked up. Elikai looked at him expectantly, and Luce remembered himself—he climbed onto the bed just in front of Eli and crossed his legs, folding his hands in his lap.

Elikai shook his head. "You remind me of a duckling."

Luce frowned. "Why must you insist on comparing me to baby animals?"

"Because you're adorable, to be totally honest." Elikai's grin widened. He reached out and took Luce's hand. "Now come here. I can't explain kissing to you, so I'm going to show you." He pulled until Luce rose up on his knees and shuffled closer, sitting down beside Elikai and leaning back against the pillows. Elikai's smile softened. He hooked his finger under Luce's chin, and turned his head, and leaned nearer until their lips brushed.

Luce's breath stuttered.

When Elikai pulled back, Luce stared at him. He took in a sharp little breath through his nose and inched after him uncertainly for a second kiss. Smiling, Elikai obliged. He raised a hand to the back of Luce's head. Rearranged his legs so they sat more comfortably together, and tilted his head so their noses wouldn't bump so much. Luce's eyes drifted half closed.

The kiss remained chaste, and curious. A little damp, and a little mayonnaise-y, and very gentle.

Luce smiled against Elikai's mouth.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince._

Luce sat on the floor of the bookstore, beside a row of shelves. He cradled a copy of _The Little Prince_ in his hands, like he might break it if he moved too roughly or suddenly. He paused at each illustration, and ran his thumb over the washed out black and white drawings, as he flipped through the book at a slow pace. Elikai crouched beside him with a grin.

"You might wanna get more than one book—or at least something longer." He tilted his head. "The drive is a little bit long."

Luce shook his head, frowning. "No," he murmured. "I like this one."

"Okay." Elikai shrugged. He held out his hand to tug Luce to his feet. "I got you some... educational books. 'Cause I don't know what you know." He held up a hardcover book labeled _The New Children's Encyclopedia_ , a paperback dictionary, and a book tastefully titled _Sex: A Book for Teens_. He looked embarrassed. To be fair, the book's cover was rather inappropriate.

Luce followed him to the checkout stand. The cashier smiled, and asked, "Doing some Christmas shopping?" She scanned each book with precision.

Elikai shook his head, but seemed to come to some private conclusion in his thoughts. "Uh... Yeah." He shrugged. "For the nieces and nephews." It was a believable lie. He swiped his card, and nudged the bag toward Luce, who took it in both hands and pressed it against his chest.

The cashier waved goodbye to them when they left, and Elikai shot her a grin before ducking out of the bookstore. He steered Luce to the car. "Okay, Lu. We're going to do some driving today, so what do you want to eat before we set out?" He stuck the keys in the ignition and looked at Luce.

Luce shrugged. He buckled in, and began to flip through the pages of the dictionary. "I want whatever you want." He glanced up, with a soft smile. "If that's okay. But no onions."

With a snort, Elikai pulled into traffic. "That's fine." He reached over and mussed Luce's hair, so it stuck up in all different directions. Luce swatted at his hand.

 

"Did you know," Luce crumpled up the wrapper from his taco, as he thumbed through his dictionary. "the plural of beef is 'beeves'?" He shoved the wrapper into the bag from Taco Bell and set his book aside. He smiled when Elikai laughed.

"What the heck kind of word is that?" Eli drifted into the carpool lane. "When would you need to pluralize beef?"

Luce shrugged. "I have no clue. The only context I've seen it in is as food." He dragged out his other books, looking between them as if trying to make a very difficult choice. "Where are we going?" He settled on _The Little Prince_ , and curled up where he sat.

Outside, a light drizzle peppered the windows of the Honda, and lightning flickered in the distance. The thunder that followed was quiet, and the space between them was lengthy. Elikai flicked on the windshield wipers.

"Well, I figured we would go through Idaho and then circle around into California." He squinted at the cloudy sky. "I live in San Diego."

"I don't know what that means."

Elikai laughed. "I know you don't."

They both fell silent, with only the sound of the rain and the other cars rushing past.

 

They stopped in a hotel in Rexford, Idaho—which Elikai swore didn't exist, but there it was on the map. The neon sign buzzed and the asphalt was rather cracked, but the hotel itself seemed pretty nice. Really, after driving all day, the only thing Elikai cared about was getting out of the car and into a bed as quickly as possible, and Luce felt about the same—but with a bonus ache in his skull to make him grumpy.

He sprawled out on one of the beds with his books scattered beside him. "My eyes hurt." He rolled onto his stomach, mouth quirking into something suspiciously like a pout. "And my head." The blankets rustled underneath him as he squirmed out of his stiff jeans, letting them drop to the floor. He looked, well, miserable. And funny, now that he was half-undressed.

Elikai crouched beside him. He pushed his fingers through Luce's hair, eyeing him with a soft frown.

"You really _do_ need glasses, don't you?" When Luce squinted at him, Elikai laughed—quietly, though. He pulled himself up onto the bed and slung an arm across Luce's back. "Tell you what, tomorrow I'll take you to get some glasses. Okay?" He met Luce's eyes.

Luce continued to pout, but his expression smoothed a little, and he nodded.

After several silent minutes wherein they both lay mostly motionless on the bed, Luce shifted around to lay on his side, and pushed his face into the crook between Elikai's shoulder and neck like a cat. Elikai ran a hand across his shoulder blades. Even through his shirt, Luce exuded a certain chill. Eli pulled him closer and tugged the blankets up 'til they were both covered and heat began to fill the small pocket of space between them.

Their legs twined together.

The overhead lights went out—they were motion sensing. A soft glow filtered through the sheer curtains from the street outside. A combination of the dull gold of streetlamps and the pinkish color of a wintery sky. Once, Luce tilted his face as if to kiss Elikai, but at the last moment he turned his head back down into the dark heat under the blankets. Elikai rubbed his back without a word.

Luce fell asleep with his nose mashed against Elikai's collarbone and his hands curled between their chests, breathing silent and soft.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince_

Luce peered at himself in the mirror. He'd had his eyes measured, and now he stood in the Costco Optical area trying on various frames. He tilted his head. No for leopard print. Something about the shape made him feel silly and a woman walking by gave him a strange look. His eyebrows crinkled as he took them off, and he turned around to look at Elikai in confusion.

"I don't know what to get." He crossed his arms, looking around at the choices. Too many.

With a sigh and a smile, Elikai came closer. He peered at the different choices until his eyes lit upon one that appealed. Plain and undecorated, a little rounded, and matte black. "Try these." He held them up to Luce's face. Luce slipped them on, fumbling a little with the arms, and blinked at Elikai from behind the display lenses.

Eli grinned wider. "You look like a hipster." (It was true—the black frames, combined with his thick cable knit sweater and form-fitting jeans made him look like he'd fit right in at a Starbucks with an iPhone in one hand and a copy of _If On A Winter's Night A Traveler_ in the other.) "Perfect." He ruffled his hair and turned away.

An hour or so later, Luce found himself with brand new glasses and the ability to suddenly see much clearer. He rolled down the window in the Honda despite the cold temperature and stuck his head out into the breeze.

"I can read the signs."

Elikai laughed at him.

He pulled his head back inside the warmth of the car, buzzing the window back up, and leaned back in his seat. His mouth twisted, and he muttered, "I need to use the bathroom."

Elikai rolled his eyes and sighed, but turned off to the next convenience store he saw—a generic gas 'n' sip type of place with a neon sign proclaiming it to be open. The sky was that strange dun color that comes with snow, and when they left the relative comfort of the car, the wind bit at any bare skin it could find. A black Chevy sat parked nearby, and it gleamed in the dim evening sunlight filtering through the clouds.

The door opened with only the normal scrape of bristles on tile, and the gloomy man at the counter didn't look up. Luce made a beeline for the men's room, leaving Elikai to wander through the small aisles. A male-model type stood near the beer and a man with shaggy hair who was maybe a few inches shorter than Elikai perused the juices a few feet away. An old woman puttered around the sweets. Elikai himself grabbed a bag of chips, and wondered if Luce might like a soda.

He grinned at the man with shaggy hair as he snatched a Sprite from the freezer. The other man nodded, with a rather weak smile in return. He looked as though he rarely met anyone taller than him, and also like he could stand to gain at least five pounds. Elikai also realized he was not alone—he'd been blocking a rather square-jawed young Asian man from view. It was a little funny, that his bulk had obscured an entire person.

Elikai chuckled to himself and turned toward the counter. He heard a door open and shut, and the gentle sound of Luce's murmured apology as something dropped to the floor. He looked over his shoulder just in time to see the male model jam him into the shelves and grunt, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

The cashier's eyes widened and he went pale, and he ran out from behind the counter, shouting, "Dean! What are you—" He froze halfway to his friend.

The man—Dean—raised his eyebrows. Luce seemed to shrink in his grip. He glanced back and forth between the cashier, Elikai, and Dean. He looked terrified.

At first, Elikai stood rooted to the spot. But when Dean jostled Luce again and snarled something under his breath, Elikai ran forward.

"What the heck are you doing?" He grabbed Dean's shoulder, to push him away, but Dean shoved him back. Elikai glared. "Get off of him! He didn't do anything to you!" He pulled at Dean again, and this time managed to drag him off of Luce. He shouldered his way between them and wrapped an arm around Luce. His voice softened, and dropped low. "Hey, Lu, you okay?" He drew them away from the other man.

Dean leveled a scowl on them both. "Lu? So, you _do_ know who that is?" The shaggy-haired man edged near him and muttered his name with a drawn expression, while the cashier continued to stand in the middle of the candy aisle.

"Yeah," Elikai tightened his grip on Luce's waist. "His name is Luce Nichols and I'm trying to help him get home." It wasn't a lie, exactly... Actually, yeah, It was a lie. He frowned.

"Lu—" Dean scoffed. "Luce Nichols? Is that what he told you?"

"Dean!" The shaggy guy tugged at his male-model friend's arm. "Knock it off, man. Look at him—that's not _him_." He shot a distressed glance over to them and looked away about as quickly, seeming a little nauseous.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "How do you know, Sammy? You're still all messed up from the Trials—"

"Shut up, Dean." Sam gritted his teeth. "I'm fine."

Elikai sighed, and cleared his throat. The other men's attention snapped to him when he said, "Can someone please tell me what's going on, and why you attacked an amnesiac?" So much for retaining some privacy.

All four men focused shocked expressions on Elikai and Luce. The little one snuck closer to Sam, and Dean sputtered, "An—an _amnesiac_?" like it was a filthy word. As though he couldn't possibly bring himself to believe that retrograde amnesia was a thing that existed.

Luce clung to Elikai with a soft frown and barely shaking hands. Elikai leaned down and whispered, "Go out to the car, Lu." His voice was gentle but firm. Luce took his keys with a nod, turning on his heel and rushing from the store. Elikai turned back to Dean and Sam.

Sam had visibly relaxed, but Dean still gave off a feeling of being on-edge and angry. The short young man whispered something to Sam and Sam nodded. The cashier finally moved, until he stood level with the male-model type. "Dean," he growled. "If you start a fight and I get fired from the only place that would take me, I am never speaking with you again." So-saying, he returned to the counter, leaving Dean to flounder for words.

Elikai cleared his throat again.

Dean flinched. "Right—Uh..." He jammed his hands in the pockets of his cargo jacket. "It was just a, uh... misunderstanding." He forced a grin, and shifted uncomfortably.

"Right." Elikai crossed his arms. "Okay, Freckles." (That made Dean scowl.) "Just this once, I won't kick your butt." Dean bristled, but Sam held him back as Elikai continued. "However, I'm gonna need you to tell me the truth." He sidled closer. Looked down at the other man.

For half a second, Dean looked like he wanted to lash out and punch Eli in the face, but his companion shot him a meaningful glare and tugged at his arm. So he wilted like a dried up flower and sank back and gave an annoyed mutter to Sam. Sam rolled his eyes and shoved him away. Then faced Elikai head on.

"We know the man you're with. But if he's got amnesia... Then he's not the man I knew." He gave a nervous shrug and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something. Closed it again. Studied the linoleum floor under his scuffed show. Finally, "And I hope—for your sake, and mine—that if he gets his memory back, he still won't be the man I knew." Something in his eyes glinted with desperation.

"What are you talking about?" Elikai uncrossed his arms, settling his hands on his hips.

Sam began to speak, but a voice from across the store cut him off—the cashier.

"That man was my older brother, once." He stared unflinchingly at Elikai. "He tried to..." He searched for the proper words before shaking his head and settling his hand on the counter. "He was not a kind person, and he is supposed to be dead."

Elikai frowned and glanced down at the soda in his hand as he processed the cashier's words. "Well," He looked up and approached the cash register, setting down the Sprite and the bag of chips he had dropped on the floor. "He doesn't know his own name, or what marriage is. Didn't know why people kiss each other, or the difference between a patrol car and a taxi." He glanced out the big windows of the gas 'n' sip, to catch a peek of Luce sitting in the passenger seat of the Honda with his knees up and his arms encircling his head. Elikai sighed. "He's like a baby bird." He slid a twenty across the counter.

"I sincerely hope he remains that way." The cashier took the money aside, but Elikai grabbed his wrist.

"Just a sec—" He grabbed a scarf from a display of cheap winter goods and tossed it over with his food. "I want this too."

The cashier nodded. Calculated his change and handed it back to him. Elikai left him something like five dollars as a tip, bundling his stuff into his arms, and left the store with everyone's eyes on him. He almost slammed the car door getting in, but caught himself at the last moment and shut it gently, as he dumped the chips in his lap and nudged the back of Luce's limp hand with the bottle of Sprite.

"Hey, Lu. I got you some soda."

Luce looked up from behind his curled arms. He looked unhappy—tired. His glasses lay askew across his face. He took the bottle with a half-smile and twisted the top off while Elikai buckled himself in and started the car. They didn't pull out of the parking lot yet, though. First Elikai snapped the tag off of the soft golden scarf he'd bought, and leaned over to loop it around Luce's neck. Luce looked at him curiously, but didn't protest.

Then they finally pulled out into the thin traffic of a winter evening, with the clouds tinged a strange ruddy color from the setting sun.

Inside, Kevin muttered, "That guy dresses like my old English teacher."

 

Back at the hotel, Luce refused to remove his new scarf, even after he shimmied out of his other clothes and into his pajamas. He curled it loosely at his throat and tossed the ends over his shoulders. He burrowed into the blankets. Elikai shook his head but allowed Luce his small comfort, as he settled on the opposite bed.

With a book in hand—the children's encyclopedia—Luce tilted his head. "Will you sit with me while I read?" His eyes were a tad wide behind the lenses of his glasses. He still looked shaken up from the little tiff at the convenience store, and tired as well. Elikai nodded at him, and came over to recline beside him on top of the covers. He leaned across Luce for a moment to grab the remote, shoulder brushing against his chest, and switched the TV onto the news while Luce held the encyclopedia open on his lap.

Elikai slipped his arm around Luce's waist and let him lean against him as he read. The television murmured quietly. He sighed, and muted the TV. "Lu," He tilted his head, so his mouth brushed against Lucifer's temple. Lucifer turned to face him better, almost nose to nose. Eli pulled back a bit and muttered, "Do you have any idea what happened, back there?"

Luce looked down at the blanket. He closed his book and folded his hands on top of it. "...Looking at the tall one gave me a headache." He raised his hands, then, dragging them up the front of his shirt. "The inside of my chest is hot when I think of him, and I don't like it." He turned his head again, and bonked his nose against Elikai's chin. Elikai pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"His name was one of the few you remembered, right?"

Luce nodded. "It was. _Sam_." He let his hands drift back down to his lap. "He was... he was definitely _that_ Sam. I could—I can feel it." He sighed out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, leaning more heavily into Elikai.

"I feel strange."

Elikai said nothing. Only pulled Luce more tightly into his arms.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You see, one loves the sunset when one is so sad." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince._

The further south they drove, the thinner the snow became. The air still held a chill but it wasn't as biting as it had been in Washington and Idaho. They stopped for the night about every 200 miles or so. On the fourth day they were just about halfway to San Diego, staying in a motel in southwest Utah. Much of the rooms were full, so they had been saddled with a one-bed room, with little more than a small area of carpet to walk from the front door to the bathroom.

On the tiny nightstand, Luce stacked his books. He had dog-eared many pages of each one— _The Little Prince_ and _The New Children's Encyclopedia_ bore the heaviest evidence of his curiosity. The dictionary had very few marked pages, and _Sex: A Book for Teens: An Uncensored Guide to Your Body, Sex, and Safety_ had no marks. He had still read it cover to cover in the car, however, and even asked some rather embarrassing questions of Elikai while they drove.

But now, in the motel room, they lay back to back on a stiff but spacious bed, with the extra pillows (there were a _lot_ of pillows) kicked to the floor and the blankets curled around them, sharing both warmth and coolness between their bared feet and the fabric covering their skin.

Luce whispered, in the dark, "I feel a tug in my ribs."

Elikai rolled around to face him, lining his chest up against the notches of Luce's spine, and wrapped his arms around him. "What do you mean?" He breathed softly against Luce's shoulder. His shins brushed the backs of Luce's feet.

"I don't know."

Outside, a truck rumbled past, and Luce waited to continue until the room grew quiet once more.

"I feel like I need to find something very important to me."

He craned to look at Elikai. Twisted in his hold so they faced one another with foreheads touching. Elikai reached up and pushed his fingers through Luce's hair. He looked him in the eye. Spoke—"Do you know where this very important thing is?" He slotted one leg between Luce's thighs and draped his arm over his side.

Luce shook his head. "We're going in the right direction."

"That's good."

"I hope so."

 

"I don't like the smell of blood."

Elikai glanced over at Luce, who lolled in the passenger seat with heavy eyelids and a red nose. His forehead creased, and he asked Luce, "What are you talking about?" He looked back around at the road. Switched into the carpool lane while other cars streamed past in the burgeoning pink and yellow-white light of dawn.

Luce sniffled. He pulled a tissue from the packet on his lap and wiped his nose. "I remembered something last night while I was dreaming." He crumpled the tissue up between his scarred hands. "I don't like the smell of blood." He cleared his throat.

"And what does blood smell like?"

Luce set his eyes on Elikai, dark and glassy.

He licked his bottom lip—it was dry, and had split.

"Spicy."

He turned away to press his forehead against the cool glass of the window while Elikai continued to drive down the highway. The bright goldenrod color of his scarf made his skin twice as pale—more than it already was, with his unexpected cold. He shivered slightly. Elikai scanned the highway signs as he drove, searching for a place he might be able to stop off.

There—lodging in the next town.

"Do you want to stop at a hotel?"

Luce frowned and shook his head. "We've only been driving for a little bit. I want..." He looked down at his hands. "I want to go further south."

Elikai nodded. "San Diego is pretty close, now."

"No." Luce's mouth twisted. "I want to go farther."

Eyebrows drawing together, Eli watched Luce from the corner of his eye. "Lu," he murmured. "Are you alright?"

A semi rumbled by deafeningly. Rattled the windows. Luce waited for it to pass before speaking up once more. "I want to go south." He raised his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes with a broad, jaw-popping yawn. "I don't know what's south but I want to go there. In..." He looked thoughtful for a moment. Remembering a word. "Mexico. I want to go to Mexico."

Elikai found himself shocked into silence. He continued to drive. Finally, "Wha— _Mexico_?" He swerved sharply onto the exit ramp. "Mexico! Lu, you need a passport to go to Mexico—You don't even have an ID." He turned a corner as he slower, heading toward the nearest empty parking lot. He found a spot fairly quickly and put the Honda into park. He twisted to face Luce head-on. "I can't get you to Mexico, Lu."

Luce's face fell. "Oh."

"Why do you need to go to Mexico? Is this about the thing in your ribs?"

A small nod. Luce kept his eyes downturned and his face just out of sight. "I... need to go there." His shoulders hunched and he leaned forward. "I feel it getting hotter." He sniffed loudly. Reached for another tissue to scrub against his nose.

Now Elikai felt bad. He sighed.

"Listen, Lu, we can try to get you a passport, but I won't promise anything."

Luce brightened a little, and he let his eyes meet Elikai's. Elikai smiled at him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When he lights his street lamp, it is as if he brought one more star to life, or one flower. When he puts out his lamp, he sends the flower, or the star, to sleep. That is a beautiful occupation. And since it is beautiful, it is truly useful." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince._

Luce stood just beside the car, on the sidewalk, staring across the street at a little green park. A tree stood beside a gazebo and reached up into the sky, laced over and across with blue and white lights. A glittering, glowing star perched at its top and at its roots large generators made to look like wrapped gifts sat heavily in the dirt.

The shining lights on its boughs illuminated its surroundings and reflected bright in the lenses hiding Luce's blue eyes.

"What is that?"

Elikai grinned, wrapping his fingers around Luce's wrist. "A Christmas tree." He tugged Luce away from the car, gently, and slipped his arm around the man's waist. "To celebrate a generally Christian winter holiday, although it's spreading to be much more mainstream than religious." He led Luce down the sidewalk with a grin. Luce sniffled and leaned against him.

"It's very beautiful." He trailed his gaze along the other various light-decked trees edging the sidewalks and peeking out from shop windows. "Everything is so bright." He couldn't help but stare. His scarf flapped in the slight cool breeze—even in sixty degree weather he refused to take it off. (His fever made him colder than normal, anyhow.) He let out slow, slightly congested breaths. "Where are we going?"

Elikai glanced at him sidelong. "To see a man about a fake passport."

Luce frowned. "Isn't that illegal?"

"Well, yes." Elikai squeezed Luce's hip, leaning his cheek against the softness of his blond hair. "But I'd rather get fake identification for you than attempt to smuggle you across the Mexican border." He tilted his head just enough to press a kiss against Luce's temple. Luce turned his face up and caught a second kiss on his eyebrow, and Elikai accidentally bumped his glasses with his chin.

He laughed and tugged Luce closer toward a storefront, to be out of the way of the people walking along the nighttime sidewalk as he laid his hand along Luce's cheek and kissed him soft and chaste. He pulled Luce's glasses off for convenience, too, and cupped his jaw with gentle fingers. Luce grasped a fistful of Elikai's jacket, distracted and leaning into him. He had to pull back to breathe every few seconds, with the way his nose was stuffed up, but it was just a small hitch in the grand scheme of things.

Elikai stepped back after a moment, parting from their closeness with a quick peck to the cheek. Lucifer pouted and plucked at the fabric of his jacket. His forehead crinkled. He looked up at Elikai with an imploring expression. Elikai snorted.

"Let's go find you a fake ID, Lu." He ruffled Luce's hair. "Kissing can wait."

Luce tilted his head. "What about more than kissing?"

Elikai spluttered and blushed. "Excuse me?"

"Well," Luce shrugged, shuffling his feet. "I'm curious. About sex."

"I—" Elikai let out a quiet huff, mouth curving at the edges. "Fine. We'll get to that _after_ your passport though, okay?"

Luce nodded.

 

Luce sat on the bed with a blank passport in his hands. Not a fake, but rather a stolen blank the he had spent almost all day filling out with Elikai's help. He flipped it about a little bit, and slipped it into the backpack he had taken to carrying with him. Glanced up, to watch Elikai sitting on the other bed, browsing the internet. He adjusted his glasses. Folded his hands in his lap. Fidgeted, and bit his lip.

After what seemed like an eternity Eli finally looked up with a raised eyebrow. He smirked. "Something wrong, Lu?" He earned a petulant glare for that. Quickly caved, and gestured Luce over. "C'mere." He shut his laptop and pushed it to the side.

With a sudden blooming grin, Luce slunk from one bed to the other and draped himself across Elikai's lap. His scarf got caught under his knee, so he uncoiled it from his neck and let it drop to the sheets, circling his arms around Elikai's neck. Elikai rolled his eyes but he pushed Luce over onto his back and down against the blankets, and kissed him. Luce squirmed around to get more comfortable beneath Elikai, wrapping his legs loosely about his waist.

Elikai pushed their mouths together, slow and careful.

The sheets rustled. Luce melted. He liked how warm Elikai was—how when his palms brushed along Luce's waist a thrum of heat hummed through him. How his mouth was hot on Luce's face. How his gray eyes weren't cold, but held a soft, sunny glow like clouds at dusk, when he looked at Luce. Maybe that was just a trick of the light but it set Luce's heart going at an unfamiliar pace, and he shut his eyes and brought his hands to rest against the base of Elikai's head, and caged him closer with raised knees.

He wanted to spend the rest of his life like that—not needing to do a thing. Just lazily kissing, close and maybe a little overheated.

And Eli never ranged anywhere unfamiliar. He kept his hands along the skin of Luce's back and stomach and around his face, just exploring and slow and gentle.

Luce appreciated it. He appreciated that if he felt uncomfortable with any kind of touch, he didn't need to speak it out loud. Elikai could tell, so he would never let his hand stray below the belt and he would never touch Luce's throat and he would be gentle around his shoulder blades and smooth his palms up the skin along Luce's sides. And that was all. And that was nice. Just modest kisses and chaste touches.

Though, Luce wondered... He propped himself up on his elbows and muttered, "This is different from in the movies."

Elikai grinned. "Yes, it is." He pushed at the spiky tufts of Luce's hair. "Movies are very different from real life."

Luce looked at him with slightly crossed eyes.

"Okay." He smiled. "That's good, because the way people kiss in movies is mildly revolting."

Elikai just laughed, and rolled onto his side next to Luce, with one arm draped across the stouter man's stomach. He raised an eyebrow and watched Luce—Luce stared back at him with low-lidded eyes and deep concentration like he might be able to memorize Eli's face if he gazed at it for long enough. And maybe he could. But that wasn't really his purpose—of course not.

He just liked to look at Elikai.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You have hair like the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…" Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, _The Little Prince._

Crossing the Mexican border was not fun. At all. It was hot for the time of year, and boring and dry. Luce shrunk down in his seat at the volume of the patrolman's voice and kept quiet, and if anyone asked him to do something, he did it as quickly as possible.

But eventually, they made it through—the passport checked out.

Luce twisted his scarf in his hands. He wasn't wearing it, but he had it coiled in his lap with one end between his fingers, soft and fleecy. He smoothed his hand down it, and seemed to come to some decision. He lifted the scarf and looped its yellowy length around his neck, warm and comforting. Too warm, actually, but he didn’t care. He liked being overly hot for some reason. It made him feel more solid. More stable. And it smelled a little bit like cinnamon.

Elikai glanced at him with an incredulous grin, shaking his head. He reached over to ruffled Luce's hair. Luce swatted at his hand but smiled.

The tug in his ribcage lessened as they drove.

Became more of a throbbing hot-cold feeling deep in the pit of his stomach and the depths of his chest.

He pulled his knees up and sank his chin into the folds of his scarf and wrapped his arms around his legs. The sun floated high in the sky with only a few errant clouds stock-still in their places, and the air conditioning hummed. His thoughts drifted and coalesced into shallow pools of ideas—the sensation of an artificial breeze on his face and the rumble of the Honda's engine through his feet and the press of the seatbelt against his chest all became vague and foggy and he fell asleep with the sun in his eyes.

 

"Do you know what we're looking for?"

Luce looked up at Elikai from where he crouched beside the car. He held his hand up and shielded his face from the bright sunshine, squinting a little. "I'm not sure." Sweat beaded on his forehead and the back of his neck and under his scarf and sweater, and his glasses threatened to slip down his nose, but he kept all of his clothing on. "Something like stars." He felt a little dizzy in the heat. Like his brain wanted to swirl together behind his eyes.

"Like stars?" Elikai reached down to pull Luce to his feet. "That sounds difficult to find."

With a nod, Luce let himself be led back into the car. His voice dropped—"It's nearby though. I can feel it." He sank into the seat and drew his knees up, closing his eyes as Eli started the engine. The sound thrummed through his bones. He glanced over at Elikai—Elikai who had stripped down to a white wifebeater and his slacks (rolled up to the knees) and socks, who blasted the A/C and tapped his elegant fingers on the steering wheel while he drove. He sweated more than Luce did. Probably because his body temperature was already naturally higher than Luce's.

Elikai noticed his stare, and smiled. "What are you looking at, Lu?"

Luce moved his gaze to his own feet. His mouth curled up at the corners and he shook his head. "Do you know a place called Oaxaca.?"

"Oaxaca?" Elikai shot him a look, curious and crinkled. He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his smartphone, briefly glancing down at it every few seconds to navigate his way to Google Maps. Luckily the road was depressingly barren and no other vehicles could be seen. He frowned at his phone. "Oaxaca is something like two days south of here." He raised his gray eyes to Luce's. "Is that where you need to go?"

"It feels right."

Sighing, Elikai nodded. "I'm glad I took such a long time off from work, or I'd be screwed." He pocketed his phone, and reached up to reset the GPS. It beeped at him. He spoke again. "You're also lucky I've got extra money in the bank or we wouldn't be able to do this at all."

"I apologize." Luce ducked his head. "I don't mean to be so difficult."

Elikai snorted. He extended his arm and settled his hand on Luce's shoulder, squeezing lightly. "You're fine, Lu."

Luce gave him a soft smile. "Thank you." He laughed, under his breath. "Thank you, for everything you've been doing for me. I've realized," His voice quieted. "I've realized that it's not normal to take in a totally stranger the way you have. You've... pampered me... I suppose." He pushed at his glasses, and rubbed the damp skin where the bridge had left a little red indent.

"Hey now," Elikai moved his hand to the back of Luce's neck, against the press of sweat-chilled skin and damp fleece. He curled his fingers loosely. "It's not a problem."

Luce shook his head, but kept smiling.

They drove on.

 

Driving over 2000 miles through Mexico in the winter was probably better than driving over 2000 miles through Mexico in the summer. But it sucked no less. Luce found himself both enjoying the fairly warm weather, but at the same time his head spun with vertigo almost 24/7 and Elikai made him drink twice as much water. And his clothes clung to him like spider's web and it became hard for him to remain awake—he wanted to curl up in the sun with a light breeze on his back and snooze. That didn't work well in a moving vehicle, though, and in hotels the air was stagnant.

If they had been on a longer trip, Elikai most certainly would have driven only at night, but as it was, there really wasn't much reason to.

They made it to Oaxaca in the evening of the second day.

Booked a hotel room downtown and collapsed into the beds—Elikai grumbled to himself, shimmying out of his slacks. "Lu," he muttered. "Shower. You first, or me?" He craned his head and stared Luce down with raised eyebrows and a grimace.

Luce stood again, and almost fell. "Perhaps you..." He sank back down to sit on the bed, and rubbed his forehead with a scrunched expression. "Showering while this dizzy seems... ill advised." He blinked at the static in his line of sight, holding his eyes wide open.

At that, Eli snorted. He hauled himself to his feet and moved over to drag Luce up with him. Hooked an arm around his waist. "How about we go at the same time, so I can make sure you don't pass out and hit your head and die." He grinned down at Luce. "We can keep our underwear on, if you need to." Something teasing flickered in his eyes, but he was also being completely serious. Would do whatever Luce needed.

Luce nodded.

"I think I like that idea."

They didn't end up leaving any articles of clothing on. Elikai washed Luce's hair for him, and other than that they mostly stood still under the spray of lukewarm water, with Elikai's chin resting on top of Luce's head, and his arms wrapped around his chest.

Luce almost did pass out, but not in the shower—toweling his hair dry, he swayed, and reached one arm out to clutch at Elikai, who helped him sit on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor and held him carefully. Like Luce might dissolve into sand if he were touched too roughly. When Luce managed to recover enough to see straight, Elikai led him to one of the beds and laid him down. Had him drink water—a few sips every couple of minutes—and fed him segments from a small orange.

They fell asleep tangled together on the bed, Elikai's fingers still sticky from drying juice.

Luce's glasses lay askew across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the final one.


	12. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince.

Elikai doubted anyone was meant to be out there—it was probably against some rule for two random civilians to trek out into the middle of the Tehuacán-Cuicatlán valley, or at least just a very bad idea, but they did it anyway. Elikai carried a backpack with water and food, and Luce led the way with his own pack holding the first aid kit and some more supplies.

He moved in seemingly random directions, skirting around agave plants and careful not to trip over any rocks or anything else on the ground. He moved with a clumsy elegance. Like a young animal learning to walk. Tilted his face up into the sun every once in a while with a hand shielding his eyes. Luce eventually made a sharp turn and started to head in a straighter direction, as the sun began to set in a violent conflagration. The light reflected in his blue eyes like fire. Elikai followed close behind him, clasping his hand, keeping an eye on their surroundings.

When the sky started to fade into a deep blue color, Luce stopped.

He licked his lips and closed his eyes and opened his mouth like he was tasting the breeze. Maybe he was. He dropped to his knees so suddenly that Eli worried he'd gotten dizzy, but no. He ran his hands across the ground until he found what he wanted—pulled a round, smooth, rock about the size of his head away from where it sat, uncovering a black pit. He rolled a little pebble into the hole. A plunking noise reached their ears not a few seconds later.

A well.

Luce leaned forward so that he could slip his hand into the well. He reached in until his shoulder was at the same level as the lip of the small well. He groped around, biting at his lip. Leaned just a little further—Elikai knelt beside him and set a hand on his shoulder, ready to grab him if need be. Luce shot him a quick, grateful, glance before he seemed to get a hold on something and began to pull it out of the well.

Evidently it weighed quite a bit. At least too much to lift easily with one hand.

Elikai wrapped one arm around Luce's middle and snaked his other down to clasp his hand around whatever Luce held. They tugged together, until finally the object pulled free. It was a soaking wet bag, of deep blue velvet with a swollen white silk rope holding it shut. Barely the size of Luce's palm, the bag weighed nearly as much as a small-sized bowling ball. Luce let it thud down into the dirt by their feet.

He sat in front of it, while Eli straightened up, and fiddled with the thin, waterlogged rope, until it came free. The bag crumpled down around what looked like a clear marble. Luce leaned down to squint at it. It seemed to contain stars—its clear glass swarmed with glittering little flecks and whorls that sparked in the twilight.

"What is that?" Elikai leaned close.

Luce frowned. "I don't know."

He reached out to touch the little, dense thing.

As his fingers brushed it he felt a shiver of something powerful just waiting to burst forth. He rolled it into his palm and couldn't lift his hand from the ground. However, it seemed to grow lighter—and also to glow. Its luminescence built and built and Luce's eyes widened, while Elikai stepped back, lifting an arm to shield his face.

The world exploded into whiteness, with a hard edge of blue.

It rushed and enveloped everything in Luce's sight with impressions of galaxies that weren't quite visible, and memory after memory after memory until his brain teemed with more ideas than he could fathom. He felt like he was drowning and flying at the same time and his breath had stopped. His blood thundered in his ears and his heartbeat throbbed in his throat.

When everything died away, he looked down at his empty hands and stood.

He breathed in and he could taste how many plants and animals populated the desert. He could smell the teeming hordes of life in the night and he could see what he chose.

He remembered everything—Falling, ruling, imprisonment, temporary freedom, the Cage again, and a ruddy light that had snatched him up before depositing him on the side of the road with neither power nor memory.

He looked around him.

Elikai lay slumped on the ground, unconscious.

Lucifer sank to his knees beside him and pulled him into his lap—it would have looked silly, for such a tall man to be held by someone almost six inches shorter than him, but Lucifer emanated such raw power even without the Grace staining his eyes and pores that it seemed completely normal.

He pressed his lips to Elikai's forehead.

His destroyed eyes reformed, and new skin grew over them, and when Elikai had healed, he blinked.

"Lu..."

Lucifer helped him to his feet. He looked up at Elikai with a soft smile.

His eyes were the strangest shade of blue Elikai had ever seen on a person—before, they had been bright, but now they were like the sky condensed into a lens made of ice and sea-shells. He leaned down and kissed Lucifer. Whispered, very quietly, so that his voice barely made a sound, "You're leaving, aren't you?"

Lucifer nodded.

He plucked his glasses from his face, folding them up delicately, and slipped them into Elikai's hand. He uncurled his bright golden scarf. He slid it off of his neck and reached up to loop it loosely around Eli's shoulders.

"You—" he began, with a voice low and smooth like mercury. "You alone," He paused and smiled wider and let his hands rest cold and light against Elikai's face. "You alone will have the stars as no one else has them..."

Elikai wanted to interrupt, but he felt like he couldn't speak if he wanted to.

Lucifer continued his little quotation.

"In one of the stars I shall be living," he said. "In one of them I shall be laughing." He tugged at Elikai until the taller man stooped, and kissed his forehead. "And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night." He gestured to the Milky Way above as he kissed Elikai's eyelids. "You , and only you, will have stars that can laugh." He laughed himself, then, and it sounded strangely like music and a little bit like bells. He kissed Elikai fully.

Lucifer's lips were very cold.

The air rushed and Elikai shut his eyes against the sudden onslaught.

When he opened his eyes again, he was alone on the side of the road beside his car.

He opened the door and ducked into the blue Honda. Tossed the loose end of Luce's gold muffler over his shoulder, so it wouldn't get in his way. Leaned over to search through Luce's bag until he found what he wanted—that little paperback copy of _The Little Prince_. He flipped through it, pausing every once in a while to run his fingers over the numerous notations Luce had left on its pages.

One streak of berry-blue highlighter caught his eye.

"Of course I’ll hurt you." it read. "Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence."

Elikai shut the book.

He opened it again not a second later, and flipped to an innocuous little pair of sentences.

Licked his lips and read to himself, out loud, "If you love a flower that lives on a star, it is sweet to look at the sky at night. All the stars are a-bloom with flowers..."

He opened his door again and craned out to stare up at the sky.

The stars dusted the darkness—glitter scattered across black construction paper, or sugar sprinkled along a granite tabletop. They didn't twinkle so much as shimmer through the atmosphere, and one blinked. That was a satellite. Elikai watched them, hanging up there in their ink-colored matrix. He felt very small and for a moment he almost believed in God.

He smiled to himself and started the car.

It was a very long way back to San Diego but he had a multitude of laughing stars to keep him company.


	13. Author's Note

In answer to a question I got:

I briefly entertained the idea of an epilogue wherein Elikai meets Nick and thinks it's Lucifer at first but...

There will be neither an epilogue nor a sequel. I like this story as it is and I feel as though a sequel would take away from the ending. (Which is most definitely and obviously inspired by The Little Prince.)

So... sorry? :)

Thanks to those who read it and enjoyed!


End file.
